Are you tired of letting fear and anxiety control you?
Do you struggle with nerves, lack of confidence, and the fear of failure?
Don't worry, you're not alone.
In fact, research shows that over 70% of people experience performance anxiety at some point in their lives.
What if I told you that you could turn that fear into fun and crush your performance anxiety once and for all?
Imagine feeling confident, powerful, and in control every time you step into a high-pressure situation. It is possible, and I'm here to show you how.
I get it, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and defeated by your performance anxiety. You might be thinking, "I'm not good enough", "What if I fail?" or "I'm going to embarrass myself."
But let me ask you this, have those thoughts ever helped you succeed?
I’m going to guess the answer is, no.
In the next few minutes I’m going to help validate your feelings and provide actionable steps to help you conquer your fears and boost your performance. We'll dive into the science behind anxiety, explore effective coping strategies, and teach you how to use fear as a tool for success.
So, are you ready to transform your fear into fun and crush your performance anxiety?
Let’s talk about fear
What is “fear”? Where does it come from? And is it all bad?
Fear is a natural hormone response to stress and uncertainty and is generated in a part of our brains called the amygdala. The amygdala is tasked with assessing the situations we’re in and quickly deciding if it’s safe or if it’s time to GTFO (get the f* out).
If the amygdala decides a situation is safe, like when we’re sitting watching TV, then we carry on business as usual. But if it decides we’re “unsafe” then we’re flooded with the hormones to make sure we’re alert - getting us ready to fight or flight.
The amygdala doesn’t work alone. It works in tandem with the hippocampus, the part of the brain where our memories are stored.
To help decide if a situation is safe, the amygdala and hippocampus look through old memories and use previous experiences to assess current situations. Most of the time, this process can be extremely helpful, but at times it can also be a massive hindrance.
For example, do you ever wonder why you start sweating when you’re in a meeting and you have to go around the table and say a “fun fact” about yourself?
This should be a seemingly safe situation, but your amygdala and hippocampus comb through your memory and find the very first time you spoke in your class when you were 5 and everyone laughed at you. Armed with this memory they deem the new situation one you should “fear” so they flood you with fear hormones. See? Not helpful.
This is why it’s scary to speak in public, cold call a sales prospect or meet a new client for the first time.
While fear is a completely natural survival response and helps make decisions to keep us safe, our brains have a tendency to confuse a real “survival” moment, for a “survival” moment we’ve created in our minds when we’re not actually in danger - like speaking in front of a group.
But what if you could turn these false survival moments into fun ones?
The importance of mindset in fear and fun
The feeling of fear is almost physiologically identical to the feeling of excitement. Both fear and excitement produce an elevated heart rate, a feeling of “butterflies” in your stomach and both might make you sweat.
This is your body getting ready for action. But the feelings are remarkably different.
While excitement is connected to the emotion of joy, fear comes from the opposite direction, closer to anxiety.
To effectively turn fear into fun, it’s important to make this distinction.
When you’re operating from fear you’re coming from a place of survival, rather than a place of excitement where you can take advantage of new opportunities and possibilities.
Because these feelings are so physiologically similar, you can learn to interpret the signals they send and rewire your brain to change your typical emotional response - from fear, to fun!
Changing your mindset can make all the difference when dealing with performance anxiety. Rather than seeing fear as something negative, shift your perspective and see it as a natural part of the process. By adopting a growth mindset, you can see fear as an opportunity for growth and development, rather than a roadblock.
One effective way to reframe your thoughts is by using positive self-talk.
Instead of allowing negative thoughts to spiral out of control, consciously replacing them with positive affirmations can help build confidence and rewire your brain to focus on the positives.
This is something I do whenever I have to “perform” in front of a group of people - whether that’s giving a speech, or singing at an open mic night. I tell myself, “I’m not nervous, I’m excited!” and it almost always works, and not just for me:
In a study conducted by Alison Wood Brooks, a Harvard professor, people who tried to convert their anxiety into excitement performed better than those who didn’t. The study asked people to speak out loud before having to perform or speak in public. They were asked to announce that they felt anxious or that they felt excited or they said nothing at all. The study found that those who said they were excited performed better than the others. Thus, positive self-talk is good for us. By changing the way we think, we can change the way we feel - Taken from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/04/07/anxiety-vs-relaxationrelabeling-anxiety-as-excitement/
Visualisation is another powerful tool that can help you build confidence and overcome fear.
By imagining yourself succeeding, you can create a mental blueprint for success and reinforce a positive mindset. Our brains aren’t great at differentiating between imagination and reality, so we can create a strong, positive neural pathway before we even have to do the “scary” thing.
For example, you have to give a big presentation to a client and you're feeling nervous, but you know you’ve put in the work. Instead of stressing with negative thoughts like "I'm going to mess up" or "They're not going to like it," imagine the presentation going well, people saying you’ve done a good job and all the positive feedback you’ll get.
By reframing those negative thoughts into positive ones and telling yourself "I've put in the work and I'm excited to share my ideas” you can turn fear into excitement and crush your performance anxiety.
Finding perfection in imperfection
One of the biggest drivers of performance anxiety is perfectionism. I know people often think being a perfectionist is a positive trait, but the pressure to achieve perfection can quickly lead to procrastination, unrealistic expectations and a fear of failure - which means you don’t take any action at all.
On the other hand, embracing imperfection can be a powerful antidote to anxiety. By letting go of the need to be perfect, you can free yourself to take risks, be creative, and embrace vulnerability.
One benefit of embracing imperfection is increased creativity. When you let go of the pressure to be perfect, you give yourself permission to experiment and try new things. This can lead to unexpected breakthroughs and innovations.
To embrace imperfection, it's important to reframe mistakes as learning opportunities. Instead of seeing failure as a reflection of your worth or abilities, try to view it as a natural part of the learning process.
This can help you become more comfortable with vulnerability and develop a growth mindset. Remember to be kind to yourself and that making mistakes is a normal part of being human.
Another added benefit of embracing imperfection, is it can grow your resilience muscles by allowing you to bounce back from setbacks and learn from mistakes. As long as you adopt that growth mindset, you will find yourself getting excited about trying new things, and even failing at them!
Facing your fears
Actually having to face your fears is the scariest, but most powerful, way to overcome performance anxiety. By gradually exposing yourself to anxiety-inducing situations, you can build up resilience and confidence.
For example, if you're afraid of cold calling people on the phone, start by calling someone you know instead of texting or phoning a restaurant to book a table instead of booking online. The key is to gradually increase the exposure, one little step at a time.
Don’t get so hung up on reaching the destination that you forget to enjoy the journey. Often, we focus so much on the outcome that we forget to appreciate the process. The process is the fun part because you’re learning and growing.
By finding joy in the process, you can increase motivation and fulfilment from tasks. This can be as simple as savouring small victories along the way or finding ways to “gamify” the scary tasks for extra enjoyment.
Facing your fears will be challenging, but it will also be incredibly rewarding. The benefits of overcoming anxiety are huge, including increased confidence, resilience, and personal growth.
Remember that it's okay to feel afraid. Taking risks is a natural part of life, but by facing your fears head-on, and making those scary moments exciting you can turn anxiety into an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Crushing your performance anxiety starts now
Listen, it's completely natural to feel nervous and afraid when it comes to putting yourself out there. You’re allowed to feel like you lack the confidence and ability to succeed. You’re not alone in feeling like this.
But remember, these feelings are just a part of the process.
Just look at all the tools you now have to turn your fear into fun and crush your performance anxiety.
In the words of Robert Greene, “Your fears are a kind of prison that confines you within a limited range of action. The less you fear, the more power you will have and the more fully you will live.”
By changing your mindset, embracing imperfection, and facing your fears, you can not only overcome performance anxiety, but also increase your creativity, resilience, motivation, and fulfilment.
Imagine a future where you confidently tackle every challenge, where you find joy in the process, and where your fears no longer hold you back. It's not a far-fetched dream, it's within your reach.
So, go ahead and take that first step. Use the strategies you've learned today to reframe your thoughts, embrace your imperfections, and face your fears. Believe in yourself and trust the process.
With practice, you'll find yourself turning fear into fun, and crushing your performance anxiety like a boss!
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